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Today I would like to tell you about flirting in everyday life, beginner’s mistakes that I have often seen in the course of my coaching practice.

1. feel well

If someone wants to expand his flirting capacity, a lot of book reading or video consumption usually precedes it. Analytical paralysis occurs. Instead of learning LESS things and doing them right, we try to follow different models, teachers and principles. This “coaching tourism” hampers your success. Follow ONE mentor or coach! Until you have passively integrated into your tools what you have learnt from DIESEM.

And the most important thing about flirting is your gut. No routines or conversation tactics will help you. You’re an individual, so is the woman. Nobody’s a computer!

Please don’t get hung up here and don’t follow a kind of step-by-step guide, but rather listen to your gut feeling.

  • Try something out (e.g. a kind of entry into the conversation: direct, indirect or situational opener) and wait for the results: How are you feeling right now?

Are you feeling anxious?

Then it is probably either the wrong girl or the wrong situation or even both.

If, on the other hand, you feel good, then the right woman may be standing in front of you and the situation is absolutely right.

In general, I would like to recommend one thing to you above all: Look where you feel comfortable.

In which conversation situation is this the case?

This can be anywhere, for example in the subway, in the café, in the club etc..

Which woman are you comfortable with?

Consciously search for the interactions that make you feel good and stay in them. Make the best of what’s going well, and if you don’t feel well or it doesn’t work out, “Have a nice day!”

2. You don’t do enough

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Granted, a lot of women out there may not be interested in you, but the other way around there will be a lot of women you may not be interested in.

Learn to be honest with yourself and say no instead of trying to get the woman. Keywords I often hear are “calculate, chances, make clear, land”. As if love and passion were a computer game or Excel spreadsheet!

Please always pay attention to friendliness and respect towards others.

  • Learn to interpret the signals of a woman who has no interest in you. That’s hard for EVERY man – you just need an experienced coach to explain when it’s too much!

To get better, here’s a tip:

Less video and book, more practice! 1 hour theory, 10 hours practice!

So go out, sit down for example 2h on a Saturday, and 30 minutes every evening, on which you CONSCIOUSly look around for women and address your dream women. You will do this until you have developed passive competence!

In this way you also increase the probability of becoming happy in the long run.

Passive competence means: You don’t have to consciously “hunt” anymore, but you can always lead open, honest and direct interactions and attract women into your life! Anytime. No matter whether at the gas station, on the journey, or in the train.

3. be aware of your intention in the interaction

  • What do you want your conversation to do?

Do you just want to compliment a woman or have a nice chat with her?

Or are you still a little more interested?

The intention behind it can often be interpreted via subcommunication, but this requires some experience.

My recommendation for beginners is therefore: Go into the conversation openly and inform the woman of your intention directly. In the form

  • “Sorry, (hello, hi) [0.5 second pause PAUSE], I had noticed you, …”
  • “Sorry, (hello, hi) [0.5 second pause PAUSE] I had to talk to you briefly, …”
  • etc.

Yes, don’t use an “apology” for your intention, but as 0.5 seconds of time for the person to devote to you. You can also use a HALLO, or HI – but this is not my style …

Even if the way of communication is very veiled (facial expressions, gestures, etc.), you will quickly find out through a good gut feeling whether your counterpart is forgiven and whether she is interested in you at all.

Advanced skiers can enter indirectly at any time:

  • “Excuse me, is this delicious? … “I suppose you’re in favour of healthy eating, too.

As you grow in experience, you will develop more awareness and sensitivity and quickly feel whether you want to continue or discontinue the interaction.

I do NOT recommend beginners to use “Is this a good book?” indirectly!

If you live in the Munich area and have difficulties in this area, please contact me and together we will find a way to help you.

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