David D Transformation Jul / 2010
Mind have you by the balls / balls have your by your mind
->Mind, out of control of mind. you do not control your own thinking. pretending to control thinking and life.
balls have you by mind, because deep part of brain, primal part, and chemicals direct a lot of thinking. creating context, driving things.
sometimes, the out of control moment, is very weird, to hard to face.
? desire to be individual / to be unique could be from the factory?
is your drive an original and invidual? is this we share in common? or is this your pesonal? cultural conditioning?
-dont game the system, dont try to figure out the trick
respect the process inside of us! respect for the power, we can transform, we can go to the next level!
3 brain types
when the reptile brain is seeking pussy, you are completely out of control.
power survival sex.
somtimes brain makes up the story: i want to know the logic behind it.
logic part: this doesnt make sense, and makes up a story.
we really art of control! face the natural powerful process. dont feel alone. it is ok! it is allright.
are you in control
are you mostly in or out of control? mostly (alex)
what is one thing you should do every day in your life?
work, brush teeth, sports, sleep, eat, shit, approach women (grin), love my cat, do 1 h off stuff i like.
what is one think you should, but are not doing in your life?
phew……. takes 30 minor less
what is one thing you should do every day that if you did do it every day for one year your life would definitely be better
I mac everything I want!!
then I can write a check that I can do whatever I want in a year.
david d – dont think we are in control most of the time..
“your power comes from your penis”, when you are not in control, thats what is handing your power away
women will test you – it is part of the amazing mating process..is the guy really in control of his penis
the more congruence tests come, the more you are on track
when you control the power of the penis, more evolved women (ltr material) will be attracted to you most.
1918 – mind myself in the program
go into BL to learn
what is learning
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if it changed your behaviour it is learning
we are asleep
shared dream, think we are awake.
live in simulation of reality. lost touch of experience.
myth /story that shapes our persrective (imprints, expirience)
waking up and coscience is key to women
in order to chane we have to get out of comfort zone
to get out of comfort zone we have to build base of security
face what makes us uncomfortable
attracting 10 requires authenticity we do not yet have
things that attract a 10 are outside of awareness, need new way of thinking
in short you must transform
men that are obsesseded with getting laid are empty people, attracting unhralthy women
men that found their way attract different tye of women
its not a quick fix. why did i get frustrarted?
increase the level of challenge, so your are forced to increase your skill
long term fullfilment. dont settle
biggest frustration when it comes to keeping an attracting women
:consistency (too little gelengenhiten). escalation in physical. frame and freeze in my comfort zone with other people. attraction can better pump up
commonalities: external, technique oriented, situational,
where have you become comfortable to the point where its getting dangerous – your so comfortable you may never be able to change it.
where would you like your life to be, what other level would you like to get to, but you cant figure out how to motivate yourself to get there
I understand the question nicely.
where are you blocked, “impass??” where you are avoiding and you cant get past? blocked internally, emotionally?
I’ll let people take me. I tend to avoid such people, but it can’t always be prevented in my job. I still try to do the best I can. and to release myself wherever I can.
why do you want to transform yourself?
moment “i will do this, no matter how long it takes, i am going to figure this out”. what is your reason why? i dont care how long it takes.
-> choice. i know nicely if it’s sexual choice. i just want choice in women. that’s how it is now, it was 4 months ago. in wants choise with people, with positive people. whenever. wherever. i want skillz. means. to use my good, positive sides in a way that attracts the people i want (that works great right now and i’m on a great, great way!)
-> i want to help others. i want to help other beginners, frustrated or annoyed men to find their goals and ways in life. their vision, their life purpose.
-> one of my really very high goals would be a book for women and for men to describe how i went my way. so to speak a guide for both sexes in dealing with each other.
being lived exercise
being breathed excercice
are you thinking or are you being thought
3 areas of life were you were being lived, things that are directing your self. where you didnt want to admit them.
job. 4 years of emotionaly unhealthy relationship. co workers (keep distance)
who is the real you
what is required for change? what level is required?
“most of us even cant change if you want to”
making success inevidable
2 ways of achieving success: goal setting (napoleon hill)
problem solving. 80% dont feel good with setting goals.
we need both those muscles.. for goal getters, look at goals and make the steps.
problem solvers: look into future, look back and think: what are the problems I would have needed to solve.
3rd way of achieving success:inevitability thinking
how can i make it so the outcome i achieve is inevitable.
its no problem to figure out, its not goal to work to.
realization, how do i create inevitability.
it is about conditions. so it happens automatically.
“stop drinking, walk to liquor store 2 miles for every drink”
what are your conditions? how to setup success?
whats s.th. you like to do but you cant get yourself to do it?
leading men (very abstract, but it’s really nice with me, so let’s take that!)
what is something that is more painfull than that that you will commit to endure if you dont … do s.th. (how this 100€ shit stuff)
“getting leverage on yourself”
fastest way to climb a fence -throw your hat over ii
getting good mentor that
group of like minded people (lair)
help other people on the way
reference group / mastermind
very few people are on groups how to figure out how to make their lifes better! (common goals)
leverage, good reward, and penalty
accountability (I understand nice) – public commitment you will transform
what is that you need to make inevidable in your life?
donate -20€ if I don’t do something
find a mentor
2 laws to change you habit
in order to get different results you have to do different things
in order to do different things you must become not me
(I think the idea is great, suits me)
do things that arent you. in order to become not me, some part must die. some part must fade. dont become not me just once, continue to become not me! (alex 2.0) – become one new.
got step by step. once you reach the level what you can do consistently, you want to ad another thing. so a nother part has to go. (I’m currently pondering how to proceed because of physical / extraction)
contiunual becoming not me, is the only way to change long term. hang onto the new YOU!
think things that arent you.
wehold onto something to identify ourself …
tention in body: unconscious mind is causing that
in life we clynch and hold onto to identify ourself with things. we can let go: “relax”
“anti clynching technique”: consciously pull the muscle, thant relax it. repeat.
self image: we unconscioulsly hang on to ourself, the old self. in order to change, you need to let go. be ok with the old one dying.
the idea who you are is just a simulation. you self image is what you made up in your mind. it will never really be who you are.
obstacles: other people often dont like it when you are outside of your comfort zone.
because it puts them out of their comfort zones. when you are out of your CZ, they get out too
when you change, the things that they do to manipulate you stop working. and they dont like that ///
_________upper control level of cz
– – – – – –
__________ bottom level of cz
what happens when you get close to the edge: everyhting inside you starts to pull you back. mind comes with logical reasons why you should not. your emotions start to become uncomfortable. physical you become uncomfortable.
need to get away.
most people live their whole life in this zone and have 1000 logical reasons. something bad might happen blabla..
but what happens when you get out: break through, change. growth. confidence. if we cross it, something good is going to happen.
we got to face the resistence (thanks tyler!)
continually get out of comfort zone (thanks alex 2.0): physically, emotionally, logically. all 3 brain realms
BOB! Horny! (i think that’s the problem i have right now. i’m too much into my cz drin = plateau phase. so let’s go on)
physically: dancing, jogging
emotionally: experience emotions, you normally wont let it (brooding) sharing an emotion with someone else (free hugs?? )
logically: new perspective, new belief systems (thanks spn!)
understand thoughts of other people.
we win in lifeif we get out of cz.
if you got to bake a cake you got to brake some eggs… sometimes you’re just gonna fuck up some things…
n b leads to neuro genesis. generating new neuro connections
repeat the things, you can lay a path over them.
you can keep doing this for the rest of your life. you can keep generating neuro connections for all the life. it keeps the mind young. new behavior = neuro genesis
keep doing new things, other people will say you are crazy. only crazy people do things differently all the time and get outside the comfort zone.
rockstars live outside of the cultural norm. doings things that arent you, get you there.
crossing over cz: fear comes, crossing over the rush of something new comes. the first hill of the roller coaster comes.
behaviour change is tough. why change is hard..
focusing our will power.. most precious and rare form of energy. (the core). will: intentionality of thought and behaviour.
typicaly we burn out willpower on things that dont help us in the long term (I spontaneously think of pickup forum..)
most of time we burn it on external stuff. when we are in negative energy, we burn the energy very inffective. we burn to much energy.
same is with willpower. awareness is most valuable state. when we have willpower, we can focus on routines that help us in our life.
the trick: long term behaviour change. use your little bit of willpower to do something to make it a routine. so it becomes habitual.
take the highes prio thing and do it in the beginning of the day. the earlier you do, the more willpower you have.
I’ll give you lunch, instead of the evening, for example.
learn vocabulary after breakfast.
create a practise in advance. “i gotta rember doing it next time”-that doesnt work. what works: is practising, doing it ritualisticly. creat a practise to make yourself do. be automatic.
awareness, the rarest and most valuable state.
doing it all the time, so its just whati do. so it frees up the will power to work on the next one.
what prevents us?
starting all the way up to awareness. awareness is rare.
often, we push it away.
we try to live in the cosy world, we dont want to offend each other, we don want to show that we screwed up.
when awarenes comes, welcome it in.
//I don’t quite understand it yet…//
get rid of people that burn your willpower!
start conserving that energy.
formula for behaviour change
need to now what the outcome is! be clear what we actually want it to be!
when you are creating the outcome, have it specific and measurable and result oriented.
“financial goal”: “i want to be rich.” unclear, unspecific. want to have 1 mill in cash on the bank in 10 years.
motivation: why. your reason why! 1/3 of humans are the why-learning style. Thank you david, why do I have to drum math for years? I don’t even have to draw a triangle today.
often the outcome is just the means to get something else.
// reminds me of “tussis” – > you’re not looking for tussis, you’re looking for your social circle… //
what is your why?.
imagine a clear outcome. visualize the outcome. mind is google for goals. your map in your head starts to reorganize. notice the connections. “reticular activating system fires up.” /funny 🙂 /
mind is like google for goals. but it takes time. repeated visualization and affirmation of clear specific outcome with motivation and reason why thats when it snaps in action and starts pulling you.
future pacing and anchoring
future pace is preparing you, that when you arrive in the future you are ready to take action.
future pace yourself: imagine the things that happen when somethings starts. visualize the qoue.
ankering: visualize the future, then tap yourself on the wrist. and then, anytime you tap yourself on the wrist, it will come up.
when doing a new behaviour change process, be specific about the outcome. clarify. figure out the why, future pace, Anchoring.
focusthe will power early in the day.
wake up in the moring, look at your goals and the things you want to create, close your eyes and visualize, you will develop the desire, you will create the emotions that will lead to inevitabile to success. you can creat your own motivation and desire.
self help / personal development.
winners manufacture their own optimism.
what triggers optimism.
(look at me in the mirror when I smile. yes, very crosswise, but I immediately remembered)
every recall is a re-frame. anytime you rember from the past, you change it in the process of remembering. pessemisting mood remembering neutral expirience will make you pull it up thinking about it negative. rember negative aspects, re code it, next time you pull it up it will be negative.
(very fascinating. reminds me of my ex relationship. when i’m in a good mood… i think positive.
reminds me of julia. when i was always partying in the evening, i often thought of her)
chose another behaviour we want to change long term
sexual escalation! (yes! I can do many things, but I want to go there)
clear picture of the outcome that results from this behaviour change: sexual extase, lust, passion escalates within a short time. sex and love from the beginning.
making women happy, living myself out.
outcome: bang the world (bang the women) / both sides of book end
motivation: whats the reason why? i love sex, passion, i want to let off steam, i want to give women good feelings, i want to get to know new sexual horizons. why? very deep inside? because i am a very sensual person deep inside me, who wants to live out the freedom he has now, combined with sexual lust.
what is this going to do for you in life? experiences with other women. bigger scope in the sexual area. and to be honest: sometimes bissel more experience than just 2 girls. maybe it is the hottest cake there is… who knows…
well, quite deep inside I want to live out again the horny rage like with julia, combined with fetish with lime. I want to make women sweat again and moan and feel like a man.
behaviour change: sexual escalation / both sides of book end
-> visualizes this.
a)write on a paper the specific outcome, measurable at a specific time
b)and the behaviour you need to change to get here
c)reason why – whats your why. bigger picture benefit in life.
-> visualize. make a clear picture of the outcome you want. specific and detailed in every way. and make a clear represensation of you behaving in the new way that you will be behaving to create that outcome. imagine how your body will look. how you will feel different, how you will be moving and breathing differently, imagine the posture you will have. and imagine the feeling you will have inside, when you reached the outcome, when you have created this outcome.
time for new behaviour? (wwtd on hand) . whats something that will be in the evironment.
imagine the quoe coming up, and visualize the new behaviour.
make 2 pictures. one is the que, one is the new behaviour.
make this 5x times. as soon as the que comes up, it triggers the new behaviour.
plan your new behaviour as detailed as possible. it is critical (reminds me e.g. arm training: I wanted to create 30 push-ups, now I am at 30… regularly, practiced in the evening, going before bed or before pc / learning vocabulary, regularly, daily at breakfast, 20-25 vocabulary. / women in the ikea approachen, regularly, in the evening, whereby i will get away from it, because it brings me too little at the moment and the time used is disproportionate to the output… let me put it this way, the number of women i “would” close is too small. )
commitment 1 to 3 months, see the results, adjust. want to change your behaviour? plan in detail.specific!
getting out of cz requires great inner strength.
einsteinsquestion “is the univese a friendly place”
yes, for me already! meanwhile…
physical to be safe: design your bed with intention (bed = ultimate space of safety and security) //hm… my kittens are always with me = safe and secure!)
reptile brain. your nest, where you recharge. “this is my nest to be safe and secure and relax”. my apartment is like this. my coutch.
emotionaly safe: create a space where you are emotionally safe and secure. is there someone to trust enough “i want to take things to the next level, i want to do things to make me uncomfortable” (tanja, duy, konsi, stefan) “and that i screw up once in a while (peter m, SPN in frankfurt, darius). “i wanna be freaked out, feel anxiety” -> be ok, no matter what happens (practise group)
logical space, intellectual. make some ethical decision. what is right and wrong for you. “i am not going to sneak around.
DVD 3 / No Shame
lying = conscious distortion of your actual perspective
lying = intentionally misleading someone else through omotion(leaving s.th. out) or comission (?)
man is a machine
the spychology of man possible evolution. a lie is prentending to know anything for sure.
all perspectives are partial perspective. no perspective is complete. when you are attached to your perspective, you are lieing.
opposite: facing things without flyching. / honesty, but those people might not face things in life! /
a problem / block / comes down to avoidance. avoiding of the problem – joking, getting angry, playing games…
elephant in the room
thing no one wants to talk to.
when you talk to the elefant, you become powerful.
some people tend to be more or less sensitive emotionally.
more: lot of talent of interactint with people
less: not es emotional: tend to be more cold hard rational decisions.
be straight with emotional people.DONT PUSSY THEM. (strongly reminds me of tanja!)
whatssomething you are not facing in your life
// make someone feel understood // DVD3
perspective of life focuses on things and events. cars / sports events. consumerism ( great, thanks david 🙂 )
//I: relationships and emotions and a positive mood//
mind normalalises. turns a process in a static thing: freez it.
love: turn the process of 2 people interacting and making feeling for each other, and you freeze that.
love is a process, a thing that happens. (or from blueprint: love is a state of trance you self put you in)
freezing takes dynamic out of it.
time binding: we take things that happen over time and make them to one thing in our mind.
“complex relationship” will be frozen into one image.
this leeds to logic “i was pissed at you and I am pissed at you now”. allow it to change and process it!
we freeze those things, make them events and make them part of ourself and our self image.
focusing on the onfolding process. concept of nothing is about there is no thing and not “there is lacking something”. everything i part of process. our bodies change. even cells have intelligence. nothing freezes.
thinking in events and things can mess your brain up.
think in process?
the world changes, but we dont want to. we resist. process of time binding, freezing, normalisation -> creates a challenge.
process in relationship or talking with a woman.
lying is pretending to know anything for certain.
truth might be reporting your ongoing experience as it is happening without expectation that is going to stay the same way.
the truth changes over time.
expect the truth to change. and experience of life changes.
“zen of life” crowding out the opportunity for s.th. mircalous to happen, because were are filling our life with to much things and events.
clinging to events and things, . are you attached to static events from the past?
where have you normalised / where have you takena dynamic process and made it into a static thing?
? no idea – maybe my bundi time “exhausting, demanding, has brought me a lot” / relationship with parents: frozen, static, done.
large groups awarenes trainings
when you are talking and telling people what to do, it turns them off.
but when you are talking about your experience, you are very powerful.
destinction between what happend and your story what happened.
distinction between experience and your judgement.
in modern times we got out of touch what we are experiencing
we got to attached to judgement and prejudice.
we often have the “i am right” tone.
“you are only lying to yourself when you really belief you are right”
you are then closed to other perspectives.
draw destinction between experience and judgement.
Mature vs inmature
shift from depending to independing
-identify what is blocking is, and then remove the block. (magic pill…) . media is programming: instant results are good and are achievable very fast. (of course this is nonsense!)
“go and buy unneeded stuff, that will make you happier”
instant gratification combined with counter productive behavior= shopping (awesome!)
frurstration. intentionally facing frustration. and overcoming it.
“In order to change something, you first must accept it”
Go through acceptance (dont fight resistance)
“try to change -> accept” makes people to stay in they CZ.
accept yourself on all levels if you want to change!
-> grow past and do mentoring!
thinking your are the best or smarter then others keeps you in your box and prevents growing!
your personal myth
“false story, its a mith, a lie”
-> “see the same thing” / relate to the other person!
asus vs. them issue!
-> “we want the same thing” / we sahre the same things!
power is in the “relate”
focus on the “relation” between people
“I get you” / Iget you enoug = I understand you, I can relate!
but in the beginning, you often start “are you in my or are you in the other team”
“you like the same style of music as me?” -> musical commonality, values connect! instant rapport!
2 parts of I
one part wants to change / evolve – other one wants to hold oyu back; benefit of discovery and creation, wonder of making your own path.
often the parts in each other are not in sync
other part wants to keep you in your CZ; saftey, knows what works.
Attraction in relationship / longterm
think of it as a wave, you turn up and turn down!
energy to continue and space to breath
keeping your 10, go past attraction >
= holding a women to you, either in or not in your presence
5 qualities to develop to develop GRAVITY
1 quality to develop:
physical quality: POISE.
women see when you lose your composure / poise. hears in voicetone. demonstrating throug your body you have physical health, combined with self esteem, status, presence / awareness. awareness about your physical space.
eg. excercise daily and becoming aware, demonstrating you care for it. notice your self, groom, pay and show thatyouare paying attention to yourself.
merging sexual energy into other parts of your life and presence.
emotional quality – passion
passion for interests, passion for relationship
HAVE your purpose, know your path and be passionate about it!
master a piece of your life and master it, become the best of it.
passion is emotion combined with mastering your craft.
TV in society: eg. go on autopilot “let someone else think for us”
when trying to connect to “higher standard” women routines wont help you, those women have a inner radar system you WONT be on. women can sense enjoyment of something.
individually alone, what are you passionate about?
… that’s the problem when you have made your hobby your profession… like with me Like PC. What’s my passion when I’m alone?
what do you like to do that is enriching when you are alone (yourself) – long term fulfillfelmnt?
what are you passionat about in work or business? (creating value for other people), being emotionally enganged..
what are you passionate about socially with other people? doing it togehter.
what will it take to master each craft?
mentor, mastermind, continual education.
what is an action step? what is the first thing you need to do. journey of the 1000 miles begins with the first step.
what are the reminders? where do you put them.
(passion theme, already known. that attracts women)
If it stops, your wife will make your life uncomfortable.
LIVE WITH PASSION
Finding purpose in life – “what would I do before I die”
look what you can master in life and where it could tribute to the world.
not a profession (trade time for money)
?? what is your level of personal satisfaction and happiness in your life
love everyone – if you hate someone, it eats your energy
key of life: happyness, true happyness, not short happyness.
Attraction code 1 – spontaneous / no cannend material
dont MAKE the women like you. “I need to trick the wome”. Luckily, I got rid of it fast. -> do what I want!
attraction is caused by the internal mindset of a man
if you are state depended, you are still on the road to getting better with women
“tell the women you want to be the man in the relationship”, if she gets to dominant
women angry,yelling? “I am happy to hear about your feelings, but I dont want to be talked to like that”
1 hour theory, spend 2 hours pratics!
fight social anxietey
“dont care if other make fun of me” bingo bongo 🙂
strive to social freedom
sexual comfortable person, sexually nollable (sp.)
“natural and normal to have sex, and giving a goodexperience to women”, positivefor both sides
(yes, yes, I can… )
“kill your inner wus – dont be emotionally needy”
things in motion, that are exciting. have a dream thats in progress.
sounds to me like live your life with passion, live your dreams
emotional stimulating to another person.
eg “emotional value from beautiful woman”
eg interesting story
eg having fun with other people
-> first give value
plow value during entire relationship, create gravitiy
everyone giving emotional value to a bunch of people becomes a high social value person.
pickup microloop theory
start with emotional value
banther (no idea what that is)
future projection “we wouldn’get along cause you woudlnt fit in my space ship”
-> cue her up to give you some value
value exchange is cued up by take aways and directives
directive “cool, tell me more” / “what did you want to be when you were 18”
takeaway – “forced indicator of dis interest”, backturn, stop talking.
dont give away all your power, dacing monkey syndrome
law of instantanious compliance
channels “ec, bl, cinema, touching, body, verbals”
when you are giving value on one channel and make a reasonable directive on another channel she will comply.
“i have not discovered something new that didnt exist before – i just realized i understood it. and when i understand it i can apply it like 10 x better than the natural because i am concious of what i am doing”
make sure you are giving value on some channel, before going cinema
Being a great leader
drawing out the best and bringing out the best in others